October 28, 2016
There was so much on JC's mind, he almost forgot the fact his nose was throbbing.
The past week and a half had been a whirlwind for JC. He felt like he was coming into Shock and Terror at his lowest point. He was still in disbelief at how quickly he was turning things around. Now he was starting to be accepted for who he was now and he had a future championship opportunity on top of it. Things were looking good.
That didn't change the fact that his nose was, in fact, still throbbing.
As it turned out, JC taking a flying knee strike flush to the nose was enough to break it. He probably didn't help the situation by immediately flying to Baltimore to compete (and win) again, without proper treatment or protection. All he had for a match against Carnage Wrestling's Sandtown Kid was a taped, makeshift splint that was hastily prepared the on-site medic.
The hard plastic covering he now wore did a better job of protecting him, but it also added pressure and unwanted discomfort to his still healing bones. So in a way, it was probably good that he had just delivered a huge announcement to a shocked crowd. If nothing else, it helped him take his mind off of his physical ailments. He did exactly what he said he would do. He went to the Shock and Terror, pinned Jesse Williams and earned his title opportunity. He also proved himself trustworthy, at least to most of his team.
He wasn't sure if CJ Wylde would ever treat him with respect. More than that, he suspected he would clash with CJ eventually. Some people just don't like each other, no matter what their alignments may be.
He found himself a chair not far from the ringside entrance and just sat down for a moment, wanting to take it all in. He had been so busy lately that he barely had any time to himself. There was always someone, whether it was his wife, his few friends or various OWF/CW staff members, that took up the rest of his time.
He closed his eyes and breathed out, contemplating everything that had happened so far. Stressful situations were usually when his mood swings and voices were at their worst. He had medication to help him, but he also had to make sure to do things like this and keep himself in check.
His phone buzzed and he realized his moment of silence would be exactly that. He looked down and saw that Stacy wanted to talk to him. She probably saw his segment was over and figured now was the best time. It wasn't, but he always had time for her.
His own locker room wasn't far from where he was, so he began to walk down, thinking about how exhausting the tour had been. He wondered if it was the right decision to go back and forth between Maryland, Jersey and abroad, and dragging his wife along with him. She insisted she wanted to come, but anyone could see it wasn't much fun sitting around and waiting for him to get done with his wrestling business. She had fewer friends in wrestling than he did, and she was the more outgoing of the pair.
She had started to grow distant lately, and he wasn't sure why. It was something he meant to talk to her about, but he assumed it was just fatigue from the travel. He forgot how tiring a tour like this could be, as he hadn't traveled this often since he ran ICW and competed in LOW. That was over a decade ago and he wasn't quite near the end of his career then.
He got to the door and grasped the handle, before feeling the phone buzz inside of his pocket. He didn't need to look to know who it was. Instead, he just opened the door.
"Oh, there you are."
"Yeah, here I am. Something on your mind, Stace?"
"I had a question I wanted to ask you. I wanted to wait until you started to get your professional life back in order and well..."
"You want to go back home."
"Are you upset?"
He simply laughed. If she had known he was just thinking about this, she might have laughed too. Coincidences could be funny.
"Why would I be mad? I said from the beginning you didn't have to come along if you didn't want to."
"I did want to. I really did. Not just to spend more time with you, but to make sure you kept to your regimen. But you're doing really well and you don't need me anymore."
"Well that's not exactly true, I'm always going to need you."
She smiled and stood up, throwing her arms around his waist for an embrace. He returned the favor, and they stood there for a while in silence. It was Stacy who broke it, feeling the need to explain herself to someone who completely understood her.
"You know what I mean. You're taking your medicine, you're getting it filled, you're controlling your anger without me even being around. Someone of the people around here...I can't understand the amount of self-control it's taking you not to smack them around a bit."
"You're talking about Moxie, aren't you."
"God, she's infuriating."
"Well it's not easy to keep those parts of me in check, but I do it because this is who I want to be right now. Not just for myself, but for you. For Trent. For Eric, should he ever decide to let me in his life again."
"I'm proud of you for that. I love you for that. But this traveling is exhausting and I want my normal life back. I miss the gym. I miss working with Michael, oddly enough. I miss my routine. I don't know how you ever did this as often as you used to."
He could tell she was telling the truth, but he also felt like she was holding something back. Once again, she felt distant from him. She was not nearly as conversational as she had been. Could it all be exhaustion? Hadn't she acted like this before? Three times before, to be exact?
Without a voice to guide him to a likely illogical conclusion, he felt a little lost.
"Stacy, I understand. If you want to stay at the house when I leave for Sweden next week, that's fine. It makes perfect sense to me."
She hugged him again.
"I just didn't want you to think I was abandoning you. Or worse."
Before he could ask what 'or worse' meant there was a knock on the door.
"Hey caveman, get out in this hallway and look at my new belt!"
"That would be Trent."
"You'd think he'd get more material."
"I think it's as close as he gets to an endearing term."
JC opened the door and the two stepped outside to meet the brand new OWF cruiserweight champion. He had a cocky grin on his face, which was a little unusual for him. Trent being confident was fine, Trent being ecstatic over something was weird.
"Well look at that, he really does have a belt, Stace."
"Color me surprised."
"You guys are assholes."
"Seriously, congratulations Trent. It looks like both of you got what you earned at the PPV."
"Trent got a belt and I pinned the World champion in a matter of minutes. It was a good night to be a Rogue."
"Unless that Rogue happened to be in front of Zo's knee."
"I've had worse."
Stacy was starting to fade into the background, but cleared her throat before she could. The two Rogues looked at her.
"I don't mean to interrupt, but I'm not feeling all that great. So I'm going to go back inside and rest for a bit."
"Are you okay, babe?"
"Fine. Just need to lay down a minute. Congratulations again, Trent."
"Feel better, Stacy."
She squeezed behind JC and went back inside the locker room, as the two friends and tag partners continued to celebrate their good fortune with casual insults. At least there was a difference between the banter between the two now and the way JC acted only a few months prior. Trent waved his hand in front of JC's face.
"Anybody home? The champ is talking!"
"You haven't even defended that belt yet and you're letting it go to your head. Don't you have a match with Jesse Williams: The Sequel later?"
"Yeah, I'm not worried about her. She'll be tough but she's still green."
"Hopefully she performs better than her father did recently."
It's not something he'd say in public, or even to anyone but Trent. He knew Trent's history with the champion and he had his own. Professional respect or not, sometimes two people just don't get along. On top of that, Jesse still had what JC wanted, and that meant a certain degree of jealousy that the #1 contender didn't want to admit to.
"I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You really made the rest of us look like chumps."
"I was actually kind of shocked myself. But I had a gameplan and I did it. Maybe he just didn't expect that from me."
"Either way, I loved watching it. At least one of us got one up over him."
"You'll get another chance eventually. Then you'll beat him. I've got no doubt."
Trent patted his belt and smirked. If JC was honest with himself, he was a little jealous of Trent too. After all, he basically fell into a title match and JC had to fight tooth and nail to get a single shot. But he left those thoughts fade from his head, as stupid negative thoughts often do. Trent tilted his head behind him before continuing.
"I think Greener wants to congratulate you too. And talk Inner Circle business. Do you think you can add more to the conversation this time?"
"I'm sure I can."
"Then I think we should catch up with him before I have to teach Jesse's girl a lesson."
"I'm going to laugh so hard if she beats you tonight."
"Fuck you."
The two shared a laugh and then Trent started in the direction of wherever it was that Green was located. JC thought for a moment about leaving his friend to just join his wife. He was a little worried. She wasn't sick. At least she didn't show a sign of it prior to Trent knocking on the door. What was with her? Why was she trying to seclude herself from him?
He was almost positive he wouldn't like the answer to that question. He decided to follow Trent after all, before he asked her what was wrong and hated himself for it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
November 4, 2016
JC paced outside of the door, trying to figure out if he even wanted to go through with knocking. Questions raced through his mind, self-doubt began to creep up and he wasn't handling any of it particularly well. He didn't even know why he wanted to talk to her. Surely Trent would be better suited for this conversation. He's been around the block. He would know what to do.
And yet here he was, moments after getting booked for Brawltopia, standing in front Lucy Wylde's locker room.
Of all the things that Chase Johnson could do, he didn't suspect he would be inserted into the Brawltopia main event as the referee. It's not exactly something he wanted, either. He simply wanted to compete. He suspected Chase really didn't care if he was trying to change himself or not, and put him in the most awkward situation just because he could.
However, that was not why he was outside of Lucy's locker room. He was out here because he needed a woman's perspective. It was the last thing he needed to take care of before he rushed home. Outside of his own wife, who was not here, Lucy was the only woman he knew and was on speaking terms with. One might say they were close to becoming friends, even though her husband didn't seem to approve of that all that much. He wondered if CJ was also the jealous type. He wondered if CJ was stupid enough to think JC would even think about doing anything like that when he was utterly devoted to Stacy.
Both of those things could be true, and it's why JC didn't want to risk another CJ Wylde meltdown on top of the one he was likely to get just for accepting a position in the Brawltopia main event that he didn't even want.
When it came to Lucy's husband, JC sometimes found himself siding with Jenova.
This is stupid, he thought to himself. They were, after all, two grown adults and he needed her advice. It didn't really matter what her overbearing and overprotective husband has to say, even if JC was going out of his way to avoid unnecessary grievances.
He bit the bullet and knocked on the door. It took a moment, but Lucy Wylde finally greeted him by opening the door. Considering the amount of enemies she had, he thought it might not have been wise to just open the door to anyone. But then he saw her and realized she wasn't exactly thinking straight.
She looked up at him and he noticed she had been crying. From the looks of things, she had been crying hard and for quite a long time. The makeup she typically wore around her eyes had been smeared, likely from her hastily wiping the tears away before she got up to answer him. He'd seen it before when Stacy tried to hide these things from him. They were alike in that respect. Both were too stubborn to dare let anyone see them like this.
"Oh, it's you. Hey, JC."
"You can call me Joe now, that's fine. I think we're okay enough for that."
It was such a rare sight, such an odd sight, to see her so vulnerable. She might as well have been naked for as intrusive as he felt at the moment. He realized he didn't know her, but the Lucy he did know was always sure of herself and strong. This was a little unsettling.
"Is this a bad time?"
"Kind of, but it's not a reason to take it out on you. What do you need?"
"Some advice, if you're up for it."
"I could use some myself. Come in. I heard the news, by the way. Congrats on your new assignment."
He had to think a moment, but realized she was talking about Brawltopia. He hadn't thought about it much in the past five minutes. She retreated back into the safety of her locker room, lest anyone else see what JC shouldn't have seen. He warily followed her in, feeling like he was trespassing. They didn't know each other that well yet.
"Yeah, thanks. Not sure how I feel about that yet."
"Is that why you're here? To ask if I'm okay with you reffing CJ's match?"
"No. I figured you wouldn't care. It's the other two I'm waiting to catch grief from. No this is a little more..."
He remembered that he just caught her crying, then decided to forgo any subtlety.
"...personal."
She stopped with the casual gestures and sat down, giving him her full attention. This was uncharted territory for the two of them, two people who used to hate each other and were just getting around to building a friendship. Two people who arguably had more in common than either wanted to admit when they first met. Having a friendly conversation about how crazy marriage is was one thing. Sharing secrets he was sure he wasn't meant to share was something else. But he had nowhere else to turn.
"Okay, I'm listening."
"The first thing I need to ask, and I feel like shit for asking it, but this can't leave this room."
She nodded, clearly understanding where he was coming from.
"Don't worry, I'm not the type to gossip."
"I didn't think so but I have to keep my bases covered. This is very private information that I'm not supposed to be sharing with anyone. But I don't really know where else to turn.
He finally sat down opposite her in a folding chair, sighing and admitting out loud what had been on his mind for a week or so now.
"I think Stacy is using again."
"Using?"
"Yeah, I guess I should open with background. Stacy has had a problem with painkillers since before I met her. She's had some stints in rehab and...she almost died back in April."
"Shit."
"Yeah."
"Are you sure I'm the person you should be telling this? I appreciate the trust but, damn, Joe. This is some heavy stuff."
"I'm not supposed to be telling anyone this. Stacy's embarrassed by it. I feel like shit for even jumping to this conclusion, but she's been showing some of the telltale signs she shows before a relapse. It hasn't even been three months since she got out of rehab yet, and I'm accusing her of this. Maybe not to her face, but the accusation is being made nonetheless. Even worse, I let her stay home by herself, knowing this could be a possibility."
He lowered his head, almost as if he just now came to the realization of what he did. He had a tremendous fear that he would go back to his home on Sunday and find her dead. Not sleeping, not clinging to life. Dead. He felt a tingle down the back of his spine and involuntarily shook. This wasn't a conversation he didn't want to have, but these were thoughts he didn't want to have.
"I'll be honest with you. I came to you because you're a wife and a woman. So you have some expertise on marriage. Trent's my friend and all but he's also divorced. So you're really the only one I can trust with this."
She gave a wan smile, putting on a comforting face even if he knew she clearly had her own struggles just moments before he decided to knock. He guessed they would get to that if she felt up to it.
"Why, exactly, do you think she's relapsed?"
"Before she gets like this, she gets distant. It's her default. It's like she wants to put a barrier up to dull the pain of me finding out she's using again. And painkillers aren't hard to find, especially when you have a husband with a surgically repaired neck."
"I see."
Lucy sighed for a moment, as she tried to think of how exactly how to respond. Joe imagined this couldn't be easy for her, having this information dumped into her lap after going through whatever it was she was going through. She was a better person than people, including JC himself for a time, gave her credit for.
"Well, if you want my advice, I'll be straight with you. You shouldn't have come to me."
He raised an eyebrow. She held a hand up in front of him, as if to tell him to let her finish.
"You should have went to her. Immediately."
"I want to but...I just couldn't accuse of her this to her face."
"Let's put it this way. If she suspected you weren't taking your medication and were close to acting psychotic again, you'd want her to confront you about it, right? And based on what I know about Stacy, she would definitely confront you about it."
He confirmed this with a simple nod, as he was picking up what she was trying to say. It was simpler than he was letting it be.
"It's the same deal here. You need to go home after Addiction and flat out ask her. Trust me..."
At that particular moment, he happened to glance up at her. He noticed her eyes were wet again with fresh tears, ready to escape their confines and fall down her face on the way to freedom. She knew he knew, because she gave a weak laugh and blinked a bit, wiping away a tear that started to fall.
"Keeping things from each other is a good way to make a relationship go bad really, really fast."
"Shit, Lucy, is everything okay with you and CJ?"
It was an answer he wasn't sure he wanted, if only because he wasn't sure how to handle an upset Lucy Wylde. He was just getting a handle on his own mental state, so it was a process to learn how to interact with normal people with their normal problems again. To Lucy's credit, she decided not to burden him with the information and simply shrugged her shoulders.
"I hope so."
One thing that was clear from Lucy's body language was that she had a lot going on right now. She clearly didn't want or didn't feel the need to tell him, but he knew the look she had in her eyes. There was a feeling of worthlessness in them. He knew the look because he had it himself quite a few times over the past few months. He didn't know what CJ had done to make her feel this way, but he hated him a little for it. He and Lucy may not be great friends yet, but she still showed him a kindness that so few others hadn't. He didn't know what was troubling her, but if there was one thing JC knew she was not, it was worthless.
If Joe was being honest with himself, he felt a little low at the moment. Here was this person who gave him a chance, and he repaid her by shoving his problems in her face. He stood up and apologetically returned the shrug.
"Listen, I'm sorry I came barreling in here with my problems. I'm glad you helped me out but...clearly you have your own thing right now."
"Don't worry about it. If nothing else, it feels nice to help someone else since there's nothing else I can do to help myself at the moment."
"I know that feeling."
She smiled at him. A genuine smile of someone who appreciated empathy.
"I was going to head to the airport, but I can stick around if you need to talk. It's the least I can do after you helped me."
"I'll be fine. One way or another, I'll be fine. I'll see you next week, hopefully."
"I'm sure you will."
He gave her a reassuring wave and then left as he had entered. The truth was, she gave him exactly what he needed. He needed a sounding board and someone to tell him the simple truth. He had to confront Stacy. He would face whatever problems would arise from that later, but he had to stop hiding in the dark. The only way they were going to get past whatever this was, whether it was in his own head or not, was together.
JC pulled his flight information out of his pocket and stared at it.
He just hoped he wasn't returning home to a repeat of April.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She knew this was her chance. She opted to stay home for this latest excursion from Joe's tour. Knowing he wouldn't be back until Saturday night at the earliest, she knew now would be the time for her to get done what she needed to get done. She hated keeping secrets from him, but this was necessary.
She entered the pharmacy, knowing exactly what she wanted and how to get it. She'd never got it quite this way before, but she had experience with this sort of thing.
"Welcome to Walgreen's, how can I help you?"
The clerk clearly didn't want to greet everyone and it showed on his face. Being cordial was part of the job description. If only someone at the Walgreen's corporate headquarters were told that the feeling was mutual. Not everyone wanted to be bugged by an uninterested clerk the second they entered a pharmacy.
Stacy was one of those people. She wanted to get what she came for and get out.
"I'm fine, thanks."
Unfortunately, she hadn't been feeling right for a couple of weeks and she had her suspicions about why. The item in question would solve her immediate problem, but it would also create a lot more once Joe found out. Hell, it would create more problems for her even if he didn't. But she knew that he would eventually. Something like this couldn't be kept from someone for long, even if they were spending quite a bit of their time sleeping in hotels and fighting for random strangers.
The nausea was the worst part, but it was only one of several symptoms. She was tired all of the time. She felt like she wanted to be alone. She felt nauseous quite a bit. If she hadn't been clean for months she would swear they were withdrawal symptoms.
Of course, she had been clean for months and had no intention of ever using again. Especially not if this was what she thought it was.
It didn't change the fact that she was scared as hell about even making this purchase.
She made it to the right aisle and stopped, staring at the garish pink box with the bold words "First Response" written on it. According to the box, it was 99% accurate. At least she knew she was getting a quality product.
She grabbed the pregnancy test kit and held it in her hand, staring at it again, before making the decision to go to the counter and pay.
"Here goes nothing."
