JC couldn’t sleep.
He wanted to, and his body screamed at him to let it rest and heal, but his mind was a jumbled highway, full of cars smashed bumper to bumper, each car with its own nagging thought.
Lucy had gone off to visit with Eden, he assumed, since he told her that it was okay. He felt bad for her, as she had multiple people she cared about sitting in the same hospital. The lights were out, and he sat in the darkness, staring at the door. But it wasn’t the door he was looking at. He was looking beyond it, at some imaginary projector, playing a match he had already lost. He watched the memories and began to find things he could have done differently.
The MRI and X-rays would be done in the morning, but that’s not all that worried him. He currently felt he had no business being in a ring again after such a colossal failure.
As he continued to watch his imaginary movie, the door opened and his eyes reflexively squinted as the light pierced the darkness of the room.
“Luce?”
He pressed a button to turn on the lights and saw that no, it was not Lucy. For one thing, the hair color was completely off. The platinum blonde was replaced with a fiery red.
“Amber,” he corrected himself. “Didn’t expect to see you tonight.”
He might have joked about her being lost but didn’t have it in him at the moment. Dull surprise was the best he had.
"Eh", the redhead shrugged whilst slipping quietly in the door. "Most people usually don't, spent enough time in places like this that they get mighty lonely, even surrounded by people."
Why was she here, hell, even Amber couldn't answer that. A moth drawn to every flame, things had been civil between her and JC and maybe this was just a further step to solidifying something outside mutual disgust.
Joe shrugged in his bed, offering very little resistance to any kind of visitation.
“I’m not completely lonely,” he lied. “Lucy’s around.”
Amber nodded, looking around as though trying to find something more poignant to be distracted by.
"Yeah, saw her not long ago… woman on a mission. Mac's here somewhere, probably being the social butterfly and reassuring everyone as he does."
Something about that made her laugh, although she wasn't sure if it was her own commentary on Mac, or the sheer absurdity of sharing a room with JC and neither of them exhibiting the temptation to rip each others heads off.
"Mind if I sit, I mean, if you want me to just fuck off I will but…"
JC’s head ached, among other things, after the grueling match he just put on. He considered sending her away, but the truth was he would wallow in misery if he did. That wasn’t healthy, and he knew it.
“Feel free,” he said, motioning towards the chair nearby. It hurt to talk, as his trachea was bruised, among other things.
It certainly felt weird having someone sitting beside him who essentially fought to end his career last year. A part of him thought she was simply here to confirm that after his neck was hurt but he dismissed it.
“So, have you heard any good jokes lately?”
Amber shrugged, lazily dropping into a nearby seat.
"Does Matt Knox on social media count? If not, then I got nothing… Besides, feel like jokes aren't gonna do you any good right now anyways."
She didn't necessarily mean to sound harsh, regretting her casual tone almost immediately as the syllables fell flat against the floor.
"Yeah, I'm really not good at any of this reassurance stuff. Other people make it look bloody easy, honestly…" she chuckled, "Seems so natural, yet here we are. Maybe I did have a joke after all."
“Honestly, after the night I’ve had, I can’t say I’m much in the mood for laughing anyway.”
He absentmindedly rubbed his neck as he said this, which was still causing him a great deal of pain, even if the nerve-related side effects had died down.
“But you know. You saw.”
Maybe this was the point she was supposed to say something uplifting, something inspirational like everyone else so effortlessly came up with at times like this. Amber nodded quietly, as though it might spur inspiration to hit.
"Yeah." She avoided eye contact now. "Yeah, I did."
No inspiration yet, nothing memorable or helpful. Just company.
"Seems like you and I are doomed to these paths we've blazed for ourselves."
“Seems that way, yeah.”
He was tired and melancholy. More than that, he was angry. What was the line? ‘I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.’
He clenched his fists together.
“Doesn’t mean I have to like the fact I couldn’t feel my damn legs a few hours ago.”
He figured Amber wouldn’t know this fact but he didn’t really care if she did. What was she going to do? Put him in the hospital?
She wasn't sure what he expected, if he were looking for sympathy than he most certainly had barked up the wrong tree- but someone who got it… someone who had been there, done that. Maybe that wasn't nearly as far-fetched.
"Weird feeling, isn't it? Heavy. You know how things are supposed to work, but the reaction isn't there. There's this disconnect but trying to wrap your head around it…"
She trailed off knowingly, dredging up her own experiences seemed almost futile in that moment. She could sense the anger, like her, JC was fueled by it. It's the one reliable thing they could grasp onto when everything else seemed to fall away.
"Wish I could say I don't understand it, that I don't know exactly how you feel…"
“You probably do more than most. Even Lucy, she…”
He struggled to find the right words, as she knew plenty about injuries, even serious ones. There was one in particular he knew she wouldn’t want him discussing.
“...she doesn’t know what it’s like to be out years from neck surgery. And then later find yourself staring down that barrel again.”
He looked back at her, thought about offering a smile but decided it didn’t fit. It felt weird. Instead he just waved a hand in her direction.
“At least you get the neck thing, is all I mean.”
Amber reciprocated with a half smile, it felt appropriate enough. Friendly, like smiling in the face of a wounded predator.
"I get it more than I wish I did. Got told I wasn't coming back after my back, made me wanna come back sooner… too soon. Way too soon. Ended up staying out longer just cause I couldn't handle the idea of my own career mortality. Lucy, she means well, Mac is the same… they try to understand, relate back and everything. To be there though, to not… feel."
A shiver raced down Amber's spine as she visibly shuddered, partially hoping JC might not notice, she continued albeit more pensively.
"It's not the pain that gets you. It's the lack of… you're expecting something that you can understand, and you don't get it. So you get angry, you get pissed off at everything and everyone cause nothing makes sense. Everyone tells you it'll be fine…"
She trailed off, almost knowing she was preaching to the choir.
“Yeah,” he added. “Yeah.”
He sat in silence for a moment, trying to will away some of the ache. He didn’t think he could sleep tonight so the least he wanted to do was enjoy his uncomfortable hospital stay in relative pain-free peace.
“This is weird, right? You were trying to end me last year and now...you’re crudely attempting comfort.”
He caught himself, not wanting to actually ruin her goodwill with an insult.
“No offense.”
With as much good will as she might muster, Amber chuckled at JC's minor backpedal- if only for how unexpected it was.
"Yeah, it's weird. None taken of course… like I said, this isn't exactly my forte. Besides if I recall last year you also tried to kill me with a sledgehammer during the war games match so really…Let's just call us relatively even on the career ending stakes- besides, it simply wouldn't do to let anyone else get that supposed honour. Especially these days."
It was an attempt at humour, yet another of Amber's short comings. Sarcasm was a defensive mechanism, and anything not drench in venom always ended up sounding indifferent or sarcastic- she knew she'd have to work on that eventually, but now… now didn't really seem like the time.
“I would apologize for that, since I wasn’t myself, but I think we both know it would feel forced.”
The fact that they weren’t trying to kill each other now was likely as close to apologizing for how they acted as they would get. But a baby step forward was better than any step backward.
Amber had surprised him lately, given their history. She willingly supported him tonight and now she was there. He had friends that were watching and hadn’t even called. Of course, he was keeping his condition close to the vest for now, but anyone with eyes could see he wasn’t walking right after he left the ring.
“Anyway, since you’re here, I need to ask you a favor.”
Amber raised an eyebrow inquiringly, that look as though surprised and yet impressed at how far they'd come in such little time.
"Unexpected turn of events- but I suppose that depends on what the favour might be."
Drumming her fingers against the arm rest, she tried to disguise that nervous energy as mere fidgeting.
“It’s nothing serious,” he admitted, although her uncomfortableness at the ask amused him. “Just don’t mention the numbness thing to anyone. Not even Mac. I’ll tell the world when I’m ready, but they haven’t even run tests yet.”
Mustering a small laugh and the closest thing to a genuine smile either of them could, Amber gave JC a knowing wink.
"Figured that was a given if I'm honest. I've found it's not my place to speak on others business, although I find most don't share my sentiment. Either way, I got you."
A slight recoil, likely tasting bile at the back of her throat, Amber shrugged it off quickly.
"Yeah, that was weird."
“Par for the course tonight.”
Amber paused, frozen in time almost, the sound of footsteps approaching the corridor capturing her attention and forcing a momentary decision. She wasn't sure if JC could hear them yet, but figured this would be as good a time as any to disappear.
After all, heaven forbid anyone actually know they shared a space without trying to kick each others faces off.
"That, that sounds like my cue to leave…"
Scraping the chair against the floor slightly, Amber almost glided across the floor in moving quickly for the door.
“If you need anything,” she started, then left before finishing her sentence. That was fine. Some things didn’t need to be said.
Joe chuckled quietly to himself at her quick exit, the first real time he did so all day.
She made him laugh after all.
