That I'm sure I'll make again
Guess I liked them enough
The first time around"
- Mudhoney - 'Good Enough'
The man known as JC was struggling. He was struggling with who he was, how he fit into the world and how well he really knew the people around him. He knew his family would always be there, even in the times when neither really liked each other very much. At least, that's what he hoped. His daughter was too young (two years this July) to really know anything other than Daddy was occasionally gone.
It was his brother he was concerned with, because they were on shaky ground. As with other times when JC let himself give in to his worse instincts, it was usually his brother that paid the price. Eric, better known as GI when he was a wrestler, always took it upon himself to try to save Joe.
And he had good reason to be worried now that Joe was stepping back into the ring. The last time Joe was an active wrestler, he had stopped taking his medication, and he let his psychotic self out to play. That didn't go well for anyone, GI included.
The two were now meeting at some rinky dink coffee shop in New Jersey, a state JC used to call home but one that he didn't really care for anymore. Too many bad memories. Too many memories of past loves, dead family members and failed business ventures. He didn't suspect he'd be in New York much longer either, which suited him just fine. The more distance he put between himself and Jersey, the better.
A barista approached him, offered a selection of various lattes and JC waved her off. He actually didn't drink coffee. Had no idea why his brother wanted to meet him here. The location seemed familiar but East Rutherford was practically a lifetime ago.
As usual, GI finally strolled in ten minutes late, right as JC had put his phone away, checking the clock for the twentieth time.
"Hey bro, what's up?"
"You wanted to meet me here. So you tell me."
GI seemed in better spirits than the last time they talked. He knew that he was seeing someone, but didn't pry. They weren't on that good of terms yet. At least, not in Joe's eyes. He had apologized profusely multiple times and even though his brother told him that's not who he was, he still felt as though he was broken somehow. That feeling wasn't going away any time soon.
GI sat down, happily accepted the drink menu from the barista and looked it over.
"Well?"
"You sure are grumpy for a guy that's doing what he loves again. And in charge of Carnage. And the group of wrestlers you hate basically imploded. Everything's going your way and you're grumpy."
"I'm always grumpy. It's my default setting. You know I don't like being in Jersey anymore."
"I'm hurt. I'm in Jersey, bro. You gotta see me sometime."
"Or you could get out. Wouldn't hurt."
"Nah, I have good memories here. ICW, being raised by you after what happened to mom and dad...you know, good stuff."
"Glad someone does."
The barista returned and GI made his selection, then sent her off on her way. Joe couldn't help but notice GI's gaze linger on her backside a little as she left. GI looked up and grinned.
"Hey, I'm not married yet. And there's nothing that says I can't look."
"I didn't say anything."
"So anyway, why I'm here."
"Yeah, get to that."
GI ran his hands through his hair and adjusted his pony tail. He felt his brother would keep that hairstyle until he was in a nursing home. Maybe until he died. He was always the big kid, and he hated being serious. Now that things were right in his world (and Joe's, he guessed), he could go back to that again.
"So I saw your match on...Synergy? Is that right?"
"Yeah."
"What a weird name for a show where people fight each other."
"And...?"
"You looked like you were handling yourself. Kicked what's-her-face's ass real quick. Didn't even have to boot her in the face."
"I feel like there's a but, coming."
"But you were also very hesitant out there. Like you were scared of hurting her."
"I wasn't scared of doing anything. I just didn't need to go 100%."
"You weren't even going 50%."
He didn't know whether his brother was right or not, because he didn't put much thought into it. It was just a match. He wrestled.
"It's like you didn't really want to be out there."
"Look, you know..."
"Yes, I know what happened. I was there. I have the scar. And I swear to Wrestling God, if you apologize I'll kick your ass right now."
Joe couldn't help but smile a little. GI had made it perfectly clear that they were good, and he wasn't going to let Joe's poisonous brain tell him differently.
"My point is, you say you want to be a world champion again but you're not wrestling like someone that wants to be a champion. You're out there wrestling just good enough to get by. And I think I know why."
"I think you're wrong, but keep going."
"I think you're scared of losing control again."
The thought had crossed his mind a couple of times. Even with his new regimen of medication, therapy and a loving girlfriend, Joe really knew he could lose it if he made one false move. But he still won. He still ran through Salvatore with relative ease. What did GI know?
"Okay...you might be right."
"I'm always right."
"Sure. Anyway, I can't let that happen again. It's happened way too often as it is. I'm too damn old to keep going back and forth, losing my mind, hurting people and letting the pain I've caused add up. I'm not in therapy because of my..."
He pointed to his head for emphasis.
"You know, I'm there because I have nightmares of the things I've done. I've put people in comas. I've nearly crippled them. I left some rookie a bloody mess and he hasn't been seen since. I can't just be out there and go full throttle. Who's to say what I'll do if that happens?"
GI looked around, frowned a little, then back at his brother. The barista had already dropped off his iced latte.
"You don't even recognize this place, do you?"
"It seemed kind of familiar, but this place all kind of blends together. Why?"
"This is where Gimmie Video was."
Joe started to say something then sat for a moment, slightly slack-jawed. He looked around. It was about the same size, he supposed, but...it couldn't be. It didn't even resemble that old video store he used to go to as a teen. The same one where...
"When did it get shut down?"
"Oh, I think about right after you left to become a wrestler. We just stopped going so I never thought to tell you."
"Well, you know how I feel about that place. Good riddance."
It was within these walls where Joe had yet another bad memory. The first time the voice in his head really spoke up, caused him to get into a fight with some other kids and have the police called on him for excessive violence. His parents rushed over, in the middle of winter, during an ice storm, and that was that. They were orphans. And it was his fault.
"Why would you bring me here, then point that out? Are you trying to make me mad?"
"Nope. I wanted to prove a point. I know you blame yourself for that. I know you haven't stopped blaming yourself for what happened to Mom and Dad. And I know it's things like that, that make you afraid of losing control."
"Okay Freud, get to the end any day now."
"My point is, you didn't design the car or create the ice that caused their crash. And you know what? If you hadn't beat the shit out of those older kids, they would have done the same to you. The police still would have been called. Mom and Dad still would have left to come check on you. The only thing you did wrong is stop at the video store and that's not really a wrong thing to do, is it?"
Joe considered this a moment. He had a feeling GI had been thinking long and hard about this, possibly for months.
"Anyway, you're scared to tap into your more physical, violent side. But that's the side that makes you great. It makes you stand up for yourself. It makes you strive to be better. It makes you defend those you care about. You think if someone threatened Lucy, or even Lizzy? Are you going to just sit by and let it happen?"
"You know I wouldn't."
"Is that the crazy, or is that you loving them?"
Joe started to reply, but didn't have the chance.
"When Lucy was dealing with her dickbag father and you were ready to go end him, was that you or was that your bipolar? You were on meds then, right?"
"Yes. That was me."
"Exactly! You didn't hold back that feeling then, because you were fighting for things you love. And when Lucy told you to stop, you stopped, because you can control yourself. And you love this more than anyone else I've ever met. Even me. And you can control yourself. So my point is, stop being an asshole and really kick these people's asses."
Joe smiled. He couldn't help it. His brother may be a big kid, immature and probably a bunch of other things, but they were all they had in the world. He raised the kid after their parents died and now Eric made sure that he was always going to return the favor.
"I feel you look out for me more than I look out for you these days."
"Somebody's got to. Wouldn't want you to kill the mailman over a lost Amazon package."
Joe started laughing at that. Even after that serious talk, even after all their issues, the two were still able to joke around. Still able to be brothers. They still had a bond that, for some reason, GI was never going to let break. Not again.
The barista came by and asked if GI wanted a refill. He did, and Joe got himself a nice smoothie. They sat there, just talking, for hours.
When they were done, GI presented JC with an envelope. It was the second reason he was there, and it had special meaning between the two of them. JC had asked for it specifically.
He would need it later.
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"Well, I'm half the man I used to be
This I feel as the dawn
It fades to gray"
- Stone Temple Pilots - 'Creep'
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A different place now. New York City. The apartment shared between professional wrestlers JC and Lucy Wylde. Both multi-time world champions. Co-workers. Technically boss/employee. Friends. Lovers. Roommates. A little of everything.
JC had been playing nurse to get her back to health so that she could return and take care of some business in Carnage Wrestling. She was healthy and that business was taken care of just a few short days ago at their Isolation event. She even hid in Joe's office while he practically warned Lucy's enemy that she was coming for her. The two shared a laugh about that later on.
Now it was his turn to take care of business and they were both packing to fly to Everett, Washington. JC was done, save for a small item he was keeping in his pocket. A small box that contained the contents of an envelope his brother had given him only a week before.
"Shit, Joe, do we have everything?"
"You act like you're the one in a match, Luce."
She walked up and smacked him on the shoulder, before sticking out her tongue and going back to packing. She hadn't even put on clothes yet, so she was walking around with one of his shirts and her underwear. She wasn't a very organized lady, his Lucy.
"Don't start with me. You know how I am."
"Sure, sure."
He handed over her overnight bag, which he had already packed in addition to his own things.
"Which is why I took care of a lot of it."
She grinned at him and took it, before adding it to the luggage pile.
"I think you just want to make sure we make the flight."
"Actually, the flight was delayed a little. I really wanted everything done so I could talk with you a minute."
"Oh?"
She set down the boots she had been holding, presumably to pack or put on, he wasn't sure which, and turned around to face him.
"I mean, I had hoped you would be wearing pants for this, but..."
She gave a puzzled, yet amused look at him.
"I told you that I met with Eric the other day, right?"
"Yeah. Said you guys talked about a bunch of stuff."
"Right. Anyway, he reminded me of something. He reminded me that I fight for the things I love, the things I care about, and I don't necessarily need to be that monster I was to do those things. That my passion comes from who I am, not who I let myself be, you know?"
She sat down on the couch, as clearly Joe had a lot on his mind and had to tell her immediately. The truth was, he had been planning this for a while, he just decided to do things a little early. He decided it should be private.
"Joe, I could have told you that. I did tell you that."
"Yes."
He hesitated a moment, took a breath and collected his thoughts. This wasn't going to be easy, but things in his life never seemed to come easy. Except her. And even then he almost ruined it.
"I'm broken. And don't say anything because we both know it's true. I'm not normal. I've got a lot of crazy in my head and it takes a lot to keep me going. Somehow, I met you and somehow, in spite of everything, you accepted me. You fought for me. You beat the shit out of me when I need it and hold me accountable when I need that to. The truth is, you should have left me back in December. No one would have blamed you. I was treating you far worse than CJ or Maggie and I was more dangerous too."
"Joe...."
He ignored her and kept going.
"But you stayed. You stayed and you helped me. You made me me again. And that's a debt I'm never going to be able to repay. But...I want to try."
She wasn't putting it together yet, but then, Joe knew he had a tendency to be long-winded when he had something he wanted to say. The last time he did this, it was a big deal, with all the pomp and circumstance one might expect. The time before that, he put very little effort at all and of course, that ended as one might expect too. This time, it was private. Intimate. The way it should be.
"Anyway, the past year has been rough for both of us. But even when I was at my worst, you stood by me. And honestly? I want you to be by my side for the rest of my life."
Lucy looked at him, confused. That look turned into shock by what he did next, as he dropped to one knee and pulled a small box out of his pocket. In that box, a diamond ring. In that diamond ring, a promise that he'd already made several times before. The same promise his parents gave each other when they used the ring many, many years ago.
"Lucy Wylde, will you marry me?"
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"These stand for me
Name your god and bleed the freak
I like to see
How you all would bleed for me"
- Alice in Chains - 'Bleed the Freak'
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I told you so.
Okay, yes, saying 'I told you so' when it comes to beating Maria Salvatore is like bragging that I was right about the sky being blue. But I was still right. Everybody's gotta start somewhere, and I guess dropping Mob Wives on her head was where I started.
I told you that I wasn't coming to UGWC to play games. I told you I was seriously going to tear this place apart, wrestler by wrestler, until I win the top prize. Of course, I found myself not being booked on No Holds Barred until I took measures in my own hands. I don't blame the powers that be for that. I showed up in the middle of a PPV cycle and everybody else was booked.
So I sent out the call for a fight and a sixteen-time World champion answered.
Trust me when I say that I'm completely excited about this. I was afraid my challenge would get accepted by a Phrixus Deimos-type and I can't make an impact here wallowing in the ditches with nobodies. So facing someone with the accolades that Crystal Zdunich has is definitely something to look forward to.
That's where the praise ends, Crystal.
I've said it before, this business is a very 'what have you done for me lately' type of business. That's why I said last match that my accomplishments in the past didn't matter. It doesn't matter that I'm the longest reigning NLW champion in history. NLW has been dead for years. It doesn't matter that I'm the final OWF champion, because OWF is rightly dead and buried. What matters is what you do in UGWC and you haven't done a thing here.
Don't worry, we're in the same boat. Once you step through the doors in UGWC, nothing else matters. Here's what I know. I know you debuted in September and have nothing to show for it. I know you've been here six months and haven't done anything of note or beat anyone relevant. I know that you give up an entire foot and 140 pounds to me.
And I know that I'm a lot hungrier than you are. Let's face it, Crystal. I barely know you and I know you're complacent. You lost your debut match and have a run in this promotion that can, at best, be described as 'hit or miss.'
I didn't lay out this challenge just because I like violence, even though I do. I want to become the UGWC World Heavyweight champion. It's the one accolade that's missing from my Hall of Fame-worthy career. I need it. And if I have to assault you in a coffee shop to do so, then I'll kick your face in and buy you a scone afterwards. It's the gentlemanly thing to do.
The fact of the matter is, I don't care how many titles you've won, here or elsewhere. I don't care if you actually won those titles or if you just wanted a fancy Twitter profile. I don't really care that I'm bigger than you are. I don't care that instead of a wrestling match, I have to fight you in a Starbucks or a Starbucks-like set-up in the ring.
I've learned a lesson lately that I thought I knew. Re-learned, you might say. I've learned that I can't just settle for being 'good enough.' I can't just rest on my laurels and hope for the best. Because I am the best. I'm the best in the world. And I'll be damned if I'm just going to let my career fade into nothingness, cut off at the knees by my own hubris, psychosis and general laziness.
I want to be champion. I need to be champion. And I'm not going to let a single person, be it Konrad Raab or Sarah Lacklan or the unholy resurrection of Eden Morgan stop me. I am too damn good to let myself be some forgotten relic.
You? You're just another warm body. Just someone else in my path that I have to knock aside. The fact that you stepped up is admirable, but unfortunately it means you're going to Washington to die.
That's okay, Crystal.
It happens to everybody eventually.
