May 12, 2019
It was a categorical fact that JC hated Mother's Day. Truth be told, JC didn't like most holidays, as they were examples of how alone he spent the majority of his life. But Mother's Day was special, as he lost his own mother at the age of fifteen and every second Sunday of May was a stark reminder of that. A loss that, somewhere, deep in the recesses of his mind, he would always blame himself for, regardless of it was his fault or not.
Even though it was nearly thirty years later, it still hurt him in ways other wounds couldn't. Even the bitter cold days that caused the scar tissue in his neck to scream at him didn't hurt nearly as much as the psychological scars caused by a reminder of the family he lost so early.
Of course, that didn't stop him from coming out to celebrate it. Not that he had a mother to celebrate it with. Not his mother, anyway, but the mother of his daughter, who would be turning two in July. Lizzy had been adjusting well to not having her father home all the time, particularly because he wasn't home all the time anyway. As long as she saw him, and she did as often as he could, she was happy. And so was he. This visit was once again more for Joe to see Lizzy than her mother.
"Joe, you're earlier than I thought you'd be."
"I guess traffic wasn't as bad as I thought."
Talking with Stacy was hard. He realized that he didn't truly break up their marriage. She told him that. He knew that somewhere within him. The truth was that they hadn't been getting along for some time, whether it was his anger issues, the fact he was always away for work or just in general their personalities not seeming to mesh as well as they used to. He knew that, but that didn't stop that guilt.
And that didn't stop the fact that he just didn't know how to talk to her anymore. She was like a stranger. Even if they were growing distant, he still hurt her in some way when he developed feelings for someone else.
They were in some restaurant he didn't bother remembering the name of, and Lizzy was already having trouble sitting still. Not that he minded. He just enjoyed any time he got to spend with her.
"Someone's cranky already."
"She wouldn't nap earlier like she was supposed to."
"Wanted to see Dada."
"Well, Dada's here, but you still should have napped, babygirl."
She reached out for him and he scooped her out of the seat and onto his knee, where she gave him a hug. He then put her back, because he wasn't going to play the good cop when her mother was trying to get her to settle down.
"Anyway, listen to your mom. Settle down so we can get some food, okay?"
"Okay. Sorry mama."
"That's okay, sweetie."
He felt a sense of pride that she was already talking and putting sentences together, even though this was normal for children her age. He was actually around for her first words (which were neither "mama" or "dada", contrary to what popular belief might tell you, but "uh oh").
"She's getting so big."
"Yeah, hard to believe it's only been two years."
He sighed and then after a moment of silence spoke up again.
"Why is it only easy to talk to you when it's about her?"
She frowned, then fidgeted with the silverware as if she wanted to avoid the subject.
"Joe..."
"I'm not trying to fight, it's an honest question. Like, why are things so awkward now?"
The two sat there in silence. Lizzy had a toy airplane (or rather, a plastic spoon that she was pretending was a toy airplane) and made noises with it, which somehow made things more awkward. What followed could be described as a series of scenes from a dinner, which got progressively different as the night wore on, but it was something like out of a play.
"I don't know."
"I don't either, but we used to talk all the time. Even before we got together. Just because we're not doesn't mean we shouldn't...just stop."
"Things just sort of broke down, Joe. It happens."
"But why, though?"
"I mean, it could be worse, I could have cut off contact completely."
"You're not a terrible person, Stace. You wouldn't do that."
The waitress approached them and took their drink orders. Given the circumstances they didn't want to be interrupted, but quickly gave them and she went on her way. They said they'd need a while for their orders. A basket of bread was left for them to snack on. Lizzy played with hers.
"I mean, we both know that we just sort of fell out of love."
"Yeah. We talked about that."
"Was it my fault?"
"Was...what your fault?"
"Did I push you to her?"
"To Lucy?"
"Yes."
"No! Don't be ridiculous. That...just happened. Yes, I felt like you and I weren't connecting but...like you said, we both felt that way."
"That's true."
The waitress came back and asked if they wanted to order yet. They said they hadn't looked at their menus and needed more time. Lizzy demanded food, so they ordered a kids' sized hamburger and french fries for her, with extra ketchup. She grabbed a second dinner roll, ate half, then played with the rest.
"You do seem happier these days."
"I am happy but I'm not going to compare the two of you."
"Good, that would be rude."
"Are you seeing anyone?"
"Actually...I started dating someone a couple of weeks ago. He's Lizzy's pediatrician, actually."
"Dr. Samuels?!"
"Yeah..."
"He gives me shots!"
"You don't have to worry about that here, Lizzy."
The waitress returned again with Lizzy's food. She forgot the shots scare and happily began to eat. Joe and Stacy finally ordered, randomly choosing something just to stop the interruptions. Lizzy made a mess with her ketchup.
"I guess I shouldn't be upset that it happened so soon."
"Are you?"
"A little, but who am I to talk?"
"You'll get over it."
"Yeah. And as long as you're happy, that's all that matters."
"So far, so good."
"I really am sorry if I hurt you."
"Joe, I think things were going to end eventually one way or the other anyway."
"I've thought that too."
"I still love you, even if it's not..."
"I understand, Stace. It's different now, but yeah. Me too."
They hold hands for a moment, a friendly, familial style, before they go back to their conversation. The food will come soon, and they'll resume eating and spending the day with their daughter. On the drive home, Joe will feel pretty good with himself. He'll tell Lucy everything and have the realization that he feels more at home with her than he does in Jersey.
And then he'll tell her that too.
As he goes to bed that night, he'll think...maybe Mother's Day isn't so bad after all.
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A long time ago, I used to claim that there was a cancer in this business.
I used to think that was a delusion. A symptom brought on by my mental illness. Something to be wished away by the right combination of medication and therapy.
Then I thought it was Drake Munday. That maybe if I got rid of Drake Munday, this business would take a turn for the better.
But I was wrong. I was so very wrong. The disease is much more systemic than that. The only way to save this business, to save Carnage Wrestling, the place that gave a home to veterans like myself, Trent Steel, Will Prydor as well as the future like Isaiah Luck, Brian Crucifix or Jonny Riggs...the only way to save all of that, is to rip the disease out root and stem.
Oh I'm sorry, Fake Ragnarok, did you think I was talking to you? Sorry, but no. You're merely a complication from the disease. Something that's happened after it was left to progress too long. Just like Jason Bridges, or Bryan Ford losing his mind, or Will Prydor and the Sandtown Kid being forced to leave Carnage. It can all be traced back to one group. To one man.
But I'm not going to ramble about that this week. No sir. I'm not going to lose focus. I have a job to do and I'm don't have to be contractually forced to do it. Unlike some, I want to be here. And why do I want to be here? Because I want to rip that stupid mask off your face and end this sideshow once and for all, Bob.
You see, you got a cheap win over me before, because you caught me off guard. These shenanigans you're involved in with the Ragnarok mask and Bryan Ford and whatever the fuck is going on, they were a distraction. And I'm done being distracted. Bryan Ford is cancelled, and I'm afraid to say you're not even getting the greenlight to go on the air.
I came to this company to wrestle and I don't know or care why the hell you're here. I just know it's time to be a man and stop with the childish games. If you're actually Bryan Ford under that mask, then you'll get ten times worse what you got at Isolation just for annoying me and because I'm extra pissed off. If you're some random nobody, then maybe you'll just get a normal beating. But this is going to end at Chaos 73 one way or another.
You're not anybody. You're less than that. You can't be anybody until you have the courage to show your face. Guess what faker, you don't have the element of surprise this time. You can't just switch places with another you and expect me to fall for it. This time, I kick anything wearing that mask in the skull until they can't move anymore, then I rip the mask off of their face.
That's the plan. So if I end up unmasking two, three or ten Ragnaroks on Monday night, then that's what I'll do. If the entire stable of Paragon wants to show up masked just to fuck with me, I'll bash their skulls in as well, with a smile on my face.
Hell, I would have done that anyway.
Let me remind you Ragnafake, let me remind everyone who has forgotten. You people seem to always forget. I am not a good man. I have never claimed to be. I am rage and violence. I am the villain of this story. Do you think Trent and I call ourselves The Rogues because it was a cute nickname? The only difference between me and the rest of you is that I own up to what I am. Well, that and I genuinely want to change myself and everything else for the better. I'm the enemy that's here to save the day. I'll break any storms that come and when I step in that ring with you, faker, I'll break your face right before I show it to the world.
