Somewhere close
Somewhere safe
Somewhere I know
I know I'll never live in chains
May 13, 2018
It was Joe's first Mother's Day in about thirty years. Since his own mother died when he was fifteen, he never had much use for the day. All it did was serve to remind him of what he lost, so there was no point to acknowledging it. Even when married, his wife celebrated with her mother but he kept to himself. Now, however, things were different. His wife was a mother and they had a baby girl. It was Lizzy's first Mother's Day, and this was very important. It was a chance for Joe to spend time with his daughter after his wife walked out on him.
They all acknowledged that it was Joe's fault. Perhaps not completely, as it seems his medication is not properly balanced enough to account for his manic states, but he still acted in violent ways. He still had difficulty controlling his anger. The whole in the wall back at his house could serve as proof of that, as badly spackled as it was. She left because of this, on the condition that once he finally finds a treatment that works, she'd come back.
That was in March. It was now May. The medicines weren't working as well and it was getting extremely difficult to find a combination that didn't fuck him over in some unique way. One did the opposite of what it was supposed to do and caused mood swings. Another just had him depressed. Then there was the one that had him vomiting.
He was on a new combination now and that seemed stable enough. Or at least he was willing it to be so as today was Mother's Day.
The three of them were at a local park in Jersey City, an idyllic late-spring afternoon with the family having, of all things, a picnic. It would be overly sentimental if someone had been writing it. But there they were. a family that for all anyone else knew was happily enjoying the day together: a mother with many good years ahead, the bearded father who looked like his best days were behind him and the baby girl, who was completely innocent.
No one would know, from looking, that there was a curtain of unease draped over them. But that was okay. For the time being, none of the players in this scene were aware it had dropped either.
"I still can't believe you grew out your beard."
"At least I'm keeping it trim this time."
"That's true but still. I'm not sure if I like it."
Stacy reached a hand up and stroked the thick wool covering her husband's face and he couldn't help but feel his mouth turn upward in a grin. It was nice. The whole ordeal was nice. A family at the park. The married couple leaning against each other while the daughter rolled around on a blanket and giggled.
"So...how are the meds working?"
"This batch seems to be doing the trick."
"No outbursts? Haven't hurt anyone in the ring?"
"I haven't been in the ring since...I want to say April."
Stacy looked up, surprised. It wasn't exactly thrilling to be forced on the sidelines but Joe had no choice in the matter. He assumed it had something to do with GI angering the boss but since the boss wasn't communicating, he could only guess.
"I don't know why. I'd like to compete but...I guess I'm not worth as much as I used to be."
Lizzy chirped in the background, and they noticed a dandelion nearby had blown onto her face, causing her to sneeze. The parents laughed and JC casually brushed the errant material from her face before scooping her up. He never thought he'd be a father and now he'd almost been one for a year.
"I really do miss you girls."
"I know, Joe. And you know I want to be back."
"So come home."
"I can't. Not until you're sure. You're fine now but..."
But he'd been fine before, is what she meant to say. They should have known it was too good to be true to find the right combination of medication right away.
"I know."
She gave a warm smile and reached up, her hand on his face as she gave him a gentle kiss. They still loved each other. He knew she wasn't doing this out of spite or because she didn't want to be with him. It was for her safety and that of Lizzy. That didn't make it hurt any less.
"You know I'd never hurt you."
"I know you don't want to."
"That's..."
"It's different. I know. But you know what you're capable of when you're like that. I have to think of Lizzy."
"I know."
He gave her the baby and watched them. He studied their faces, trying to memorize them. It was as if he was sure he was never going to see them again.
It didn't help that his vision was unusually blurry. The scenery and the people he was looking at kind of blended together, like a watercolor painting that was losing its coherence. He wanted so badly to hold onto them, but his vision was muddled and everything was running together.
There was also a droning noise in his ear, growing louder and louder. Once he became aware of what it was, he felt very depressed.
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May 28, 2018
He woke up. He didn't spend Mother's Day with his daughter. He didn't see his wife. He spent it alone.
Utterly alone.
He reached over and shoved his finger onto his phone to shut off the alarm, then noticed that it was actually the phone itself ringing. It was 6:14 AM. He had no patience for whoever was waking him up, especially since his last training session ended four hours prior. The fact that it interrupted a rare pleasant dream made him even more irritated.
While he hadn't seen his wife and daughter since March, and only had limited phone conversations with Stacy at best, there were parts that were true. The multiple combinations of medicines were true, as was the fact that his current batch was working just fine. He did have a beard and he hadn't been booked in weeks.
It was also true that he knew that Stacy wasn't doing this out of malice. She loved him and he loved her. They both understood what the situation was, but it pained them both at the same time. She thought it best to cut off most communication, as he needed to get better. Had he not been so angry at the time, he might have told her that it was her that made him better.
But he didn't say it then and now it would feel like desperate attempt to get her back.
He didn't want to come off that way, even if he did feel desperate.
The phone continued to buzz on the nightstand, urgently informing him that it wasn't going to stop until he answered it. So he did.
"This had better be good."
"Mr. Lee. I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time."
"Who...is this Bridges?"
Jason Bridges was the President of Carnage Wrestling. He was a weasel who only cared about the bottom line and what he could get out of everyone, and somehow he was deemed a better choice than Kyra Mohr. Joe didn't even like Kyra and he thought that was a stupid mistake. The rat had already made enemies of just about everyone that didn't have the same goals in mind, and the fact that GI had angered him was more than likely why JC had been off of shows. Paying for his brother wanting to have a good time.
If he wasn't trying to better himself, he might give him what he gave Chase Johnson. Instead he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, wondering what the hell he wanted.
"I know you're on Baltimore time so you probably know how early it is."
"Yes, I know, it's early. You're a tough guy, you'll handle it."
Great. He was a pest and he was condescending.
"You're already sitting me at home for no reason, if I have to listen to your attempt at verbal abuse I'd rather just get fired."
"Oh no, you're too valuable a commodity to let go to UGWC. Especially after you signed that five-year extension last year."
"But not so valuable I can't even get in a battle royal at tonight's PPV."
"Tonight's PPV is why I called."
Joe sat up, as the Carnage Wrestling President had his full attention now. He hadn't been on a show in a while and if he was finally getting a match, no matter how late, he'd be on the highway in an hour. All he had at the moment was his training and watching the shows on television. He had no family, his best friend was still angry with him and he had no idea where Trent had been.
Loneliness didn't suit him. At least if he were active he could take it out on someone.
"Okay, so what match am I in?"
"You're not."
"But you just...you're not making sense."
"I need you to do me a favor."
JC paused for a moment, then shook his head. It really was that odd that this man would think JC would give him a favor of any kind.
"You are aware that I don't like you, right?"
"Nobody does. But you have a special circumstance that I think will make you see things my way. You see, I have a handicap match tonight..."
Joe laughed, hopefully loud enough that the President heard it.
"Oh yeah, I saw that. Way to fuck yourself over."
"Yes. I'm not a wrestler. Mr. Prydor and Mrs. Mohr plan to cause me harm and I won't have it."
"So get your partners to do your dirty work. I'm not getting involved. I'm certainly not attacking anyone."
"That's not what I want. I just want you to make sure I don't get hurt."
JC could not believe the arrogance of the man. JC didn't like him, much less care if his friend hurt him or not. In fact, that'd be preferable. Whoever took over would probably put him in a match.
"Go screw."
Joe reached down and ended the call. No matter what his home life was like he had no intention of going to Baltimore to stop Will from getting his revenge. Will earned that. Will deserved it.
The phone buzzed again and he ignored the call.
JC owed Will something of a debt, considering their history together. He had wronged the man multiple times in NLW and made a name for himself off of Will's back. He always hoped to make it up to him. He doubted this was it, but it would definitely make for a funny story if he talked to him later.
The phone buzzed again. This time it was a text message. When JC read it, the air left his lungs almost immediately. It was like someone had punched him directly in the chest.
HELP ME OR SIT OUT YOUR CONTRACT. ALL FIVE YEARS OF IT. BASICALLY THE REST OF YOUR CAREER.
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I'm not close
I'm not safe
I don't know
Don't know
Am I better off in chains?
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There's a lot I wish I could say to you Will.
I feel like, of all people, if you knew exactly what was going on here, you would understand better than anyone.
But I can't. So you won't.
In the grand scheme of things, what exactly did I hurt? Your pride? Your sense of justice? You think I wronged you because I saved some guy from a beating. Whether or not he deserves it feels irrelevant. You're not that person, Will. You're the best of us. You're the guy that even when the rest of us are in the muck, comes out clean. You're as pure as someone in this business can get.
Why lower yourself to our level? Why become something you're not?
Take it from someone who knows. If you brutalize a man that can't defend himself, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
So while I can't tell you exactly what's going on, I can say that I'm glad that I saved Bridges at Underground. And that's the honest truth. I didn't just save him, I saved you from yourself.
But you won't realize that. You think the old JC is back and I guess so does the rest of the world. The facts don't matter. My side of the story doesn't matter. You need a villain for your story and I guess that's me. It's not my first time. It won't be my last. I'm sure I've done enough misdeeds in my life that whatever you have planned, I probably have coming.
Unfortunately, I'm stuck with teaming with a real "villain." That goes in quotation mark because she's more like an underling who only got her job when the bosses were taken down. Melody seems to think she's Queen around here, but the rest of the roster sees her as the pawn she is. She's a means to an end. She's an easily manipulable person who is someone management can control. Bridges keeps her happy, she cheats her way to keep the people he dislikes from reaching the top.
Melody let's make one thing perfectly clear. I'm in this match because it was booked. I don't like you. I never like the idea of someone I could beat with ease in a position at the top of the card. We're not friends and I certainly don't work for you. I'm not "the help", and saying that will get you a cash-in that not even the powers that be can prevent. Or maybe I'll destroy you and wave out my brother to get a belt he'd treat with more class.
We'll win this match Melody, but because I'm the best on the roster. I think you know that, and I think in spite of your boasting on Twitter you'll let me do the work. In a fair fight you can't fend for yourself, while I've held five World titles and haven't been pinned cleanly since last year. I'll let you ride my back to victory this time, but only because I have to. I'd much rather face Will and Hampton on my own. At least if I lost I could do so with my dignity intact.
I guess I should say something about Hampton too. Good job at Underground, kid. You nearly had her. Your problem is you're too soft. I get it. I'm married. I know what it's like to be in love. But in this business you have to be a little selfish. It's the nature of things. Let the world burn just a little or you'll never get the things you want. Terra waved you back in, you should have done it. Now who knows when the brass will let you sniff the world title again.
You and Will have no idea what my motives are and I can't tell you. But since you don't know, it's best you keep your fucking mouths shut. You need to listen to Will. I'm dangerous. I've been dangerous since I started. While I won't tell you what's going on right now...I will say this.
For your sake, you'd better hope I don't go back to my old ways.
At this point I don't think I could even stop myself.
