Monday, June 19, 2017

Self Destruct


May 8, 2017

Blood.

Blood rained down from the slits on JC's bare, shaking hands down to the cream-colored carpet.

There was a chance this 41-year old wrestler severed nerves, tendons, or veins. He wouldn't feel it until he woke up in the morning, groggy from a few hours of restless slumber.

The fifty-inch, flat-screen TV lay at his knees like a fallen foe.  Its screen was decimated with several large dents, spider-web cracks and smears of red that had already begun to darken with blood drawn from a rage-filled donor. It was a different story for their dripping brethren, who gave their final resting place a brighter, almost-pinkish hue.

The picture had long been forcefully removed but JC still watched it play out as vividly as when it first aired. He was now trying to recover after momentarily forgetting nine months of progress. His chest heaved and his eyes clamped shut as he tried to calm himself after the brief but brutal period of violence, both on-screen and off.

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Before the incident with the broken television, JC was sitting at home. Not by choice, although he didn't mind spending time with his very pregnant wife. They were joined by his friend Lucy Wylde, who at the time was going through some relationship issues of his own. Joe didn't like to pry, so he didn't get a good deal out of her over exactly what her husband did this time. So he just gave her a couch to crash on and a sympathetic ear if she needed it. All the talking that was really done was done between the two ladies. Joe did as he had been doing ever since January...he was down in the basement, taking his various frustrations out on punching bags and sparring dummies.

While this may seem to have created an awkward situation, but it was far from it. It was mostly like everyone chose to ignore the concerns they brought with them and tried their best to just be normal in the time they spent together. Normalcy, as it turned out, including getting ready to watch Eric, his brother, compete in the quarterfinals of some crazy hardcore tournament. GI knew how to take care of himself, and had done so against the best UGWC had to offer in the previous two rounds. GI lost the match. That was disappointing, but at least he put up a good fight.

Then, the masked man known as Redemption appeared.

"Oh, no..."

It was actually Lucy that spoke out. Possibly because she knew first hand what it was like when Redemption had his eyes on anyone. Everyone knew, they knew that GI was fully capable of handling himself, and yet once the sociopath posing as a wrestler entered the ring, there was a shared feeling of cold nausea in their stomachs. GI was skilled, but he was tired. He still didn't really know Redemption as some guy he beat in 2009. He didn't see what he was really, truly, capable of doing.

Joe had known him before he donned the mask. He went by Drake Munday in those days. He was a green rookie who could barely scrape together two wins. In the time between JC's retirement and his return, he became something else. He became dangerous. Not just as a competitor but as a human being. JC fought him in 2016 and was surprised each time Redemption kept taking offense and coming back.

"Get out of there, Eric..."

"Why? He'll kick the crap out of that clown."

JC turned to his wife and squeezed her hand lightly, appreciative for the vote of confidence. The concerned look on his face told her a different story, and it didn't have a happy ending.

He watched Redemption's foot crack his brother in the skull, and he wouldn't remember a lot of what happened after. In fact, he actually had to force himself to watch it again. He was blinded by a rage that he hadn't felt since August of last year. Everything Redemption said was lost on him the first time. He just didn't hear it. Nor did he hear Stacy audibly gasp when Redemption slammed a sledgehammer into GI's right knee. A knee that GI had injured early in his career and wore a knee brace on to protect. A knee brace that wasn't doing a bit of good now.

The fury was almost tranquil once that happened. He felt it surging in him, and he felt his hands shaking. He was numb to everything else. Another blow forced Stacy to leave the room, Lucy following behind when she saw that Joe would not. He couldn't turn away. 

If he hadn't been taking his medication (and this was something he was almost sure he had been doing), he might have heard a voice telling him to drive to Baltimore right now and tear it apart looking for Redemption. He had nothing giving him direction. 

He almost wished he had.

When it was all over and the TV was destroyed, the adrenaline seeped out of him and he sat on the couch. He was glad Stacy didn't see what he did, although he would have a hell of a time explaining it to her later. 

There was one person who did see.

"Joe..."

Lucy stood there, unsure of how to react. She saw glimpses of a JC she knew when the two first met. The same JC that attempted to break her in half in a cold, calculated effort. JC never claimed to be a saint, but he did swear that this side of him was gone forever. But a man can only take so much.

Lucy stepped forward, showing no fear. It was admirable, and Joe would have thought so if his eyes weren't staring at the broken television, seeing the images flashing in his head and plotting ways to truly hurt Redemption for what he had done.

"Stacy got upset seeing GI hurt, so she's laying down. Apparently her doctor told her to avoid stressful situations like this with the baby and all.

He heard her, but it was like her voice was far away. The blood was still pounding in his head. He decided to speak, to say anything so she would know that he was still himself. 

"Good. I...I can explain this."

"You don't need to, Joe. You forget, I've been exactly where you are. Only it was Redemption and Angel, and I never got a chance for revenge."

"Yeah, but...you don't have issues like I do."

"There's a difference between hurting people for no reason and taking your anger out on electronics after you saw what you saw."

"That may be, but I can't go back to that. I've done a very good job of keeping that side of me under control."

"Joe, you do whatever you want to do with Redemption. But right now, I'd suggest you console your wife and then get to whatever hospital Eric's going to be at. I think I have someone I need to talk to as well."

She left the room, and Joe caught a glimpse of a cell phone slipping out of her pocket. He assumed the person was CJ, but he really didn't care at the moment. He guessed she was probably right. He was going to take care of his wife, then go make sure his brother was taken care of. As much as he hated the idea, Redemption and revenge would both have to wait.

As he walked back to the bedroom, the very thought of waiting made him angry again. He clenched his fist hard enough to turn his knuckles white, burying his fingertips into his palm. Finding no other targets, he hit himself in his own thigh to relieve the tension. Then he went to take care of very important things that seemed less important when he thought of making that masked lunatic answer for his sins. 

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May 9, 2017

To Joe's surprise, the talk with Stacy actually went well. They had the means to replace the TV and no one, outside of Joe, was seriously injured. She understood his anger and understood what Lucy did. It was justified for this particular moment. She explained to him that he had every right to lash out the way he did, and he did a damn good job of controlling himself, given the circumstances. 

Now that the rage had settled, all Joe felt was guilt. He should have been there to help. Not that a fresh GI would have needed his help, but he would have been there to give it. He shouldn't have let Jet Somers give him a concussion. He shouldn't have angered Kyra Mohr to the point of being suspended. Now that the rage had subsided, he removed all of Redemption's agency and placed the blame squarely on himself.

He was now sitting inside of his doctor's office. He had an appointment anyway to go over the latest test results for his brain. A visit to GI was out of the question because GI was doped on pain medication and from what he heard, was due for surgery today.

Joe surprised his doctor when he had wounds on his knuckles that required a couple of stitches each. Dr. Katt was his general physician and had been for some time. He had seen a specialist for his concussions tests, but it was his regular doctor who usually informed him of he results. 

Now he was simply trying to make small talk while threading sutures through JC's skin.

"So how, exactly, did you do this?"

"They don't make TVs like they used to."

Dr. Katt briefly looked up for a moment, incredulous.

"You punched a TV?"

"I can't punch people right now. Doctor's orders."

"I didn't order you to shove your hand into glass, but my bank account thanks your stupidity."

JC had a long relationship with this doctor, going all the way back to when he first started his career. So casual conversation about injuries were pretty common between the pair. Dr. Katt had a surprisingly dark sense of humor and was more than ready to share it with his patient. Joe was on autopilot, saying whatever came to mind in hopes of hurrying things along so he could get his medical clearance. It had been four months. Surely he had been cleared in four months. 

The last of the sutures went through the hole and with a snip, the job was done. Overall he had two stitches on his middle finger and three for a jagged cut on his ring finger, likely just missing the area where he normally kept his wedding band. Fortunately, no sacred mementos were harmed in the making of these injuries. 

"That's it. It won't take long for those cuts to heal, so I'd say in a week you can come by and have a nurse take them out."

"I'll do that."

He moved his fingers to get a feel for how the stitches felt. If everything went well he would be punching Redemption with this same fist inside of a week.

"Speaking of stupidity, I think we should move on to those test results."

Dr. Katt frowned, which Joe immediately took for a bad sign. 

"Here's the thing. All of your IMPACT testing went fine and your cognitive functions seem to be great. If it were that alone, I'd clear you right now."

"So do it. I've got things I need to get back to."

"Joe...well just look."

Dr. Katt removed a photo from a folder and placed it on the light-up board usually reserved for X-rays. They showed a photo of a CT scan, although Joe couldn't make heads or tails of it. His business was causing others to get CT scans, not read them himself. His doctor pointed to one lump of color that was different from the other lumps of color. 

"The readings here, from what your neurologist has told me, still seem to show some sort of abnormality. It doesn't appear to be a lesion, like I feared, but the fact that it hasn't went away is a cause for concern. When it comes to the brain, you either have to be 100% or you don't get cleared. That's the way it is with sports injuries these days."

Joe felt a familiar rage bubbling up, but kept himself calm. After all, the adage was 'don't shoot the messenger.'

"So, after four months, I'm still not allowed to back to the ring."

"Honestly, at this point I'd consider retirement, given your history."

"But, it's not a lesion, right? It's just some abnormality. You don't really know what it is."

"We'd need more advance testing to be sure. Definitely an MRI. We have to be sure before I'll sign your clearance form."

As if he noticed JC tensing up, he stuck a hand out as if to calm him down.

"It could be nothing. A glitch or just an area that is still healing. But we have to be sure."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you're full of shit."

JC slid off the hard medical bed and pointed at the scan.

"That little thing is what's keeping me out of action? I've wrestled a week after suffering a grade III concussion. I came back from a neck injury that kept me out two years. I'm fucking bipolar and I have that under control. But because you can't tell what 'an abnormality' is, I have to sit and let some masked fuck get away with hurting my brother?"

"Your broth...?

"That's not the point. The point is, I want this taken care of. So I'll do your MRI but this is the last one."

He was letting his anger get the better of him and he knew it. He hoped Dr. Katt did as well. He didn't need his emotions ruining another relationship. JC ran a hand through his hair out of frustration, then sighed.

"Look, I didn't mean to snap at you."

"That's fine. I know you must be frustrated."

"I am. I've got to drive to Baltimore to visit my brother, so just call my cell when I have a date for that MRI."

He moved past Dr. Katt and grabbed the door handle, but not before getting one last word in. 

"But I have to be honest. I'm going back to Carnage Wrestling and I'm going to hurt the son of a bitch who laid his hands on my family. If that MRI comes up negative and you can't clear me...I'll find someone who will."

With that, he quickly flung open the door and briskly walked out, not letting the insanity of his words linger in the air for too long. He knew as he said it that he would be risking permanent injury or worse, but JC was still blind with anger. It wasn't going away any time soon. 

The truth was, he just didn't care.

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To say I've had a...difficult 2017 would be an understatement. I came into this year riding the highest of highs. I am the final OWF champion, I was one half of the CW tag team champion and, perhaps more importantly, I have a baby coming in mere weeks. All it took was an errant knee strike and I was out of action. Then, Kyra Mohr suspended me "for my own safety."

That's when the coward that calls himself Redemption made his move.

I'm not going to talk a lot about him at the moment, because what I have to say will be said to him personally. I will say this. It takes a special kind of coward to brutally assault a man's family when you know for a fact that man is miles and miles away from you. Redemption took a cheap shot at GI when he was already worn down, then used a weapon to injure him to the point of being unable to fight back. All while knowing that there was no way I could stop him. He knew I was at home. He knew I would be watching.

Now he's going to know what it's like to have me for an enemy.

Because you don't know, Redemption. Not really. You've known me as a mentor of sorts and you've known me as an opponent. And while our last match saw both sides delivering some very heavy blows, that was just to win a match. I don't have any interest in wrestling a match with you. Simply put, I want to stomp your head until the cloth rips and your gray matter is oozing out. 

Is that too far? Is that a little too much like the old JC? Deal with it. If you had a problem with me, you should have come out and came at me personally, like an adult. But you couldn't do that. If you did that, you'd catch a boot to the head and we'd never see you in Carnage again. Now you're going to get far worse and we'll never see you in anything again.

I don't understand why you want to go to war with me, but now there's no stopping it. War is coming.

You might say Redemption inspired me, because I worked harder than ever and I got my brain tested frequently to ensure that I was 100% to come back. Kyra Mohr has placed me in a match at Chaos 37 and it's against Charity Jones.

Your name is ironic, Charity, because you're not getting any of that from me. I'm sorry, I truly am, but I have to make a statement at your expense. I'm going to hurt you, Charity. I'm going to toss you around the ring and then I'm going to boot you into unconsciousness. Unfortunately for you, there are no other options. This is the way it's going to be. 

Carnage Wrestling, Redemption and everyone else has to learn I'm not ready to be put down just yet. Those lessons begin with a former Carnage Wrestling world champion and it continues until everyone who's crossed me is laying at my feet. 

I used to call myself a monster. I used to do monstrous things. These days, I'm fighting the monster within me and I'm not sure what I am anymore. The only thing I know is that I'm dangerous. That's been the one constant in my entire career If I do have to eventually go down, I'm taking as many of you motherfuckers with me as I can.

Especially you, Redemption. 

Especially you.