Pressure is a funny thing.
I came back here intent on completing a mission. A mission to destroy the OWF from within, because I felt something was wrong with it.
The truth is that something was wrong with me.
I don't need to recap it for you again, you're well aware of the details. But here I am, only a short time away from my first match for OWF since my recovery and I don't know how to feel.
Do I feel angry? Is that a thing? Do I still have to go in there and try to kick Kaibutsu's head off his shoulders to win a match? Can I just rely on my natural wrestling ability to get the job done? How far will I have to go to keep succeeding when I don't have that bloodlust fueling me? Can I get anything done without brute force and violence? I remember a time when I could do that, but that feels so long ago.
From the outside looking in, you may think the pressure is on Kaibutsu. This is, after all, his first match for OWF. Not only that, but he's main eventing against a veteran who's making his return after a month and a half. He's representing The Hostile Takeover, which is in dire need of a win if they hope to stay even a little relevant in this company. Their Dynamo supply has run short, so now they'll have to win matches if they want anyone to ever take them seriously.
With all that in mind, this looks like Kaibutsu has all the pressure on him to win.
In this case, looks are very deceiving.
The pressure is on me.
I don't say this as a cry for sympathy or attention, I'm merely stating facts. If Kaibutsu loses, he lost to a veteran who has more experience on this level. No big deal, back to the drawing board. The Hostile Takeover has Zodiac to get them that credibility if he can beat Brian Crucifix. Kaibutsu really has nothing to lose here except a bit of pride.
I have more on the line than pride. You might say my very reputation is on the line.
For what the OWF crowd may not know, is that I wrestled for Carnage not too long ago. I lost. This adds to the pressure because doubts have started to form in the back of my mind. Is that loss an anomaly because I'm rusty, or does it mean without my bloodlust I'm a shell of the fighter I once was? You can ask all the questions you like, because I've already played them in my head a million times.
Is that loss to Sabiru a bump in the road or a sign of things to come?
That's where you come into play, Kaibutsu.
I have to prove that I am every bit as good of a wrestler as I've always said I am. I have to prove that I don't need to hurt people to succeed. I have to prove that I can still provide something of value in the latter portion of my career. And it doesn't stop with this match. If I beat you, I beat someone with little experience in the OWF. I beat a member of the struggling Hostile Takeover. Big deal, that proves nothing.
Lucy Wylde stood in the ring on Addiction and she told me to prove that I'm worth a damn. Not in those exact words, but that's how it feels for me. I need to do that. I need to show her, Trent Steel and everyone else in the world that not only am I a good man, but I'm a good wrestler. I'm more than big boots and violent attacks. I have a set of skills that I know can get me to the top. That's why the pressure is on me.
Lucy Wylde stood in the ring on Addiction and she told me to prove that I'm worth a damn. Not in those exact words, but that's how it feels for me. I need to do that. I need to show her, Trent Steel and everyone else in the world that not only am I a good man, but I'm a good wrestler. I'm more than big boots and violent attacks. I have a set of skills that I know can get me to the top. That's why the pressure is on me.
But do you want to know a little secret? I thrive on pressure. I have for my entire career. I worked my way up from a joke gimmick to become a World champion. I started my own company and ran it for two years when everyone said I couldn't. I came back from a career-ending neck injury when doctors told me to hang it up. I became the longest-reigning NLW champion ever and retained the belt after suffering a grade-3 concussion.
I've had pressure on me my entire life and I use it to succeed. That's what I do. Beating you may be nothing in the grand scheme of things, but to me it's everything. I prove that I can still do it and then it's immediately off to much bigger things.
I'm making a vow right now. By the end of 2016, I will be a champion again. Not only that, but at some point I will be the OWF World Heavyweight champion. If I have to be the one to dethrone Jesse Williams to do it, then so be it. Because I know I can. I know I will. I know I must. All I need is one chance.
The pressure is on and it's never going to stop.
Time to let it turn me back into the diamond I know I am.
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