You know, when I first got here, I referred to myself as a monster. I'm starting to think that's not entirely accurate.
Yes, my actions are monstrous but I'm more like a natural disaster. I'm inevitable and I'm going to destroy everything you hold dear. After all, a monster can be stopped. A monster can be killed. A natural disaster, however, is just something you have to brace yourself for. Even then you're going to be worse off than you were before.
I think Power Hour proved that I can't be stopped. Now Hurricane JC is hitting the shores of Osaka and leaving another body in its wake.
To be honest, I thought I wouldn't even get booked for this Japan tour after what I did to Shaun Stewart. After all, I did hospitalize the man and finish off the Violent Society. You would think that wouldn't go unpunished.
Hi, Lucy. Yeah, I'm still bragging about it. Feel free to use this as ammunition for portraying yourself as a victim...again. You'll get that Lifetime original movie, I'm sure of it.
Instead of being punished for my actions, I've been rewarded. The Rogues have a tag title opportunity at Determined and I get to deliver some pain to Elias T. Azul the week before. It's a good day to be me.
I'd say "poor Elias", but he's probably off chasing butterflies with a spatula and has no idea what awaits him. You'd have to be some kind of sick, deranged individual to see someone as special as Elias and put them in the ring with someone like me.
That's Chase Johnson for you. He'll keep a brain-damaged man on the roster and let him endure shot after shot to the head if he thinks it'll make him a few extra dollars. I'm sure a proper phone call to the ACLU could shut the OWF down in a second for that reason alone. But then, we're not in America and if the OWF is gone I can't hurt Elias.
Let's be honest. I really, really want to hurt Elias.
Not Elias specifically. He's a precious, precious pony flying down technicolor rainbows made of jell-o. He's damaged, is what I'm saying. I'm trying to say things that he would understand so he's not left out of this conversation we're having. He shouldn't be in this match and if I had my choice of opponents it wouldn't be him. It'd be like pissing on a corpse. What more can you really do?
But I'm a tsunami and I'm going to hurt someone. I really want to hurt someone. It can't be Jesse Jamester, he's a coward. He cheated to beat Trent Steel, then ran the second he saw me coming for him. So while I'd love to boot Jamester back into obscurity, he'd never agree to it. That dog won't hunt, as a redneck like him might say.
That means it has to be Elias.
Sorry Elias. You're the first opponent I've had here since my return that I kind of feel bad for beating. That doesn't mean I'm not going to do it, I just don't think I should. I'm not evil. I don't kick puppies. You're too stupid to know what you're in the middle of. It's not your fault. Of course, it's not my fault either. It won't be my fault when I kick you so hard your brain does a somersault inside of your skull. It's the fault of our "illustrious" OWF President.
OWF wants to promote a full on stable war between the Inner Circle and the Glitterati instead of doing the right thing. It should be Greg and Moxie vs The Rogues for the tag team titles. I earned the shot. Instead, they gave it to a couple of nobodies from a nothing promotion in Maryland. It shows you just what kind of people run Carnage Wrestling when you do them a favor and they repay you by rewarding other people. If I ever set foot in that place again, it'll be to tear it down.
But I'm rambling and going off-topic. You could say I'm doing my best Elias impression but he's never made this much sense.
I will say this for Elias. It's going to take a lot to put him down. I'm not going to get Elias to tap out. He's too stupid to feel pain. That means I'll have to force my size sixteen into his skull as many times as it takes until he's unconscious. Chase Johnson knew this and booked the match anyway.
And yet people will still claim I'm the bad guy. I'm only doing what has to be done. It's not my fault everyone is so stubborn they refuse to open their eyes and see.
I'll make them see. One by one, if I have to. They'll see that I'm doing this for them.
If I have to destroy Rain Man to do it, then that's exactly what I'll do.
And I'll do it with a smile on my face.
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